our guide to male sex toys
I’ve been in this business for a long time and one thing I’ve noticed is that, up until recently, women had far more options in terms of the types of sex toys they wanted to experiment with. Men were expected to “use their imagination” while the ladies’ imaginations were exploited to create a distinct and diverse amalgamation of artsy yet naughty accessories. The future looked bleak for us dudes, but then suddenly, things began to change.
Thanks to numerous technological advancements (and a few good men willing to break the silence about just how horny guys really are), the male sex toy market is finally booming. No longer is there a stigma on guys to masturbate. These days, it’s not only expected but it’s actually celebrated and explored. From extremely life-like toys to innocuous looking pocket pussies, there seems to be a respected manufacturer producing something for every man on this perverted planet.
In fact, the diversity of male sex toys is so impressive that the options must be organized by category. Especially if you’re shopping for something new to bring to the bedroom, having a firm grasp on the variations can help you select a toy that you’ll truly enjoy. If you’re looking at presenting your man with his own toy, this knowledge gives you even more power.
The Main Categories of Male Sex Toys
The modern world is full of amazing stuff, like super high-tech sex toys for men. Somewhere between last year’s prison FiFi and this year’s automatic Bluetooth and VR compatible blowjob machine was a brave guy who stood up and said, “I need a little more futuristic kink in my life.” As a card-carrying member of the Thirsty Cock Brigade, I can understand my brothers’ desire for some high-powered orgasms. Honestly, I can’t believe it took us long.
Your male sex toys are typically broken down into three (3) main categories:
- Cock Rings
- Prostate Massagers
Each of those categories then has its own intriguing subset. For example, masturbators are usually either manual or automatic. Certain models are fully rechargeable, and others need batteries, plug-ins, or both. Furthermore, there are some toys that get really fancy – a.k.a. they use scientifically based ergonomics and materials, they offer user-friendly interfaces and humanistic features, and they hook up to live action sessions with a partner and/or use downloadable virtual porn content to create a hyper-realistic experience.
With the welcomed development of better male sex toys, the world is a much better place for at least 5 reasons: 1) Long distance relationships are greatly enriched, 2) stamina and endurance are noticeably heightened, 3) sexual appetites are safely satisfied, 4) bedroom skills are significantly enhanced, and 5) people are simply having more fun. After trailing behind the trend for several years, male sex toys are finally a thing worth mentioning. It’s now considered sexy to give your man a toy and know how to use it.
Male masturbators are different than female sex toys, but there are a few interesting similarities between some models. For instance, some masturbators for men are vibrators. Also, higher-end masturbators usually either drive themselves using powerful motors (automatic) or feature hyper-realistic skin-like material and amazing canal textures to make the manual labor a little more tolerable.
If you’re lucky, you’ll find him a masturbator that has the best of both worlds: automatic functionality and fantastic texturing. Believe me, it’s possible. You just might have to spend some cold, hard cash on it. However, it’s important to remember that investments in pleasure are never a mistake, especially when his masturbator is compatible with other toys (another real possibility).
Cock rings are a classic, used to strengthen erections, increase sexual stamina, improve appearance, and restrict ejaculation. When used right, they can be a huge load of fun (pun intended). Unfortunately, cock rings aren’t all the same. To enjoy all the benefits, you’ll have to consider several things: your purpose, the toy’s material and flexibility, his physical condition, etc. While cock rings are a blast, I don’t suggest playing with one unless you know what you’re getting into.
Typically, men are cautioned against wearing cock rings for more than 40-45 minutes per session, which means it becomes your responsibility to find him something that will get the job done in a timely manner. Nothing is worse for a dude than having to stop min-stroke because of avoidable safety concerns. Thankfully, there are now a variety of cock rings that do remarkably sexy things: vibrate, pulsate, grip the balls, play with the prostate, you name it.
PROSTATE MASSAGERS (and BUTT PLUGS)
Speaking of prostates, the wave of men clamoring for some discreet ass play is surprising, even to me. It’s like someone let the cat out of the bag about how good it feels, and now every guy on the planet is wanting something to tickle his bum. I can’t say I blame them, it’s just that now my job is harder. It falls on me to describe all the options, and I can honestly say there are too many for me to cover here.
Prostate massagers are a dime a dozen these days, but they’re not all created equally, and don’t you forget it. You’ll find models that vibrate and models that don’t. You’ll come across materials like silicone, metal, and glass. And you’ll probably stumble upon prostate massagers that rotate, subject his junk to e-stim shockwaves, gently arouse the undercarriage (perineum), or all of the above. There is a variable cornucopia of shapes and sizes designed for differing experience levels. Plus, the orgasm achieved through prostate play is life-altering for both partners.
The Other Stuff
It’s not just the girls who want to have fun. Boys will be boys, and that means a party in the pants 24/7. When masturbators, cock rings, and prostate massagers don’t cut it anymore, there’s always the other stuff.
A good sex doll, which is just a glorified masturbator, can serve numerous purposes. Not only does it act as an attractive visual for the poor sap who can’t get any real pussy, but it also provides a certain mixture of sensations that you just can’t feel anywhere else. Add in some features like twerking muscles, canal warmers, and vibrations – you now have the closest tings to real sex as, well, actually having a live human to smash. With things like virtual reality, Bluetooth compatibility, and real-time synced toys, I can’t even.
Interestingly, recent studies have discovered that the use of high-tech sex dolls is linked to a steep decrease in infidelity, most notably among long-distance couples. I don’t have to explain how monumental this could be for the lovers of the world. Considering there are sex dolls that can be carefully molded after specific parts of a model’s anatomy, the possibilities are virtually endless.
NOTE: One of my favorite customizable, life-like products is actually a unisex toy. It’s a complete kit used to make a cast of your man’s dick (and balls) and it can be enjoyed without or without a vibrator. Although it doesn’t hook up to other toys or have tons of high-tech features, it does make a great sex toy for men and women alike and is sort of like a sex doll . . . right?
Some people may not consider penis pumps sex toys, but they are in my book. While it’s true that many of them are designed as medical devices used to fix Peyronie’s disease or erectile dysfunction, penis pumps are excellent tools to increase sexual pleasure as well. By basically “priming” the penis, his eventual ejaculation will be more substantial, and his orgasm will be far more intense. If that’s not something to play with, then I don’t know what is.
There’s a penis pump on the side of my bed at all times, and it’s not because I have problems in that area. It’s simply because a good pump can make sex feel brand new again. High-tech versions can be sort of expensive, but they’re worth it because they’re typically developed using expert data that’s manipulated to permanently improve penile function. If you can provide replenishing pleasure while also enhancing the star player, why wouldn’t you?
The Final Verdict
Ladies, it’s time to scoot over just a tad and let the men have some of the pleasure. It’s not so bad though. After all, couple’s play just got a whole lot more interesting.